


Superfriends Don't Let Superfriends Hero Drunk

by Peggystormborn



Series: Every Time...A Karamel Anthology [13]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Canon compliant through end of season 3, Drunk heroes, F/M, KaraMel, Karamel spent 10 years in the future then came back with their kids, Minor Agent Vasquez (Supergirl TV 2015), Minor Clark Kent, Minor J'onn J'onzz | Hank Henshaw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 14:54:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16389803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peggystormborn/pseuds/Peggystormborn
Summary: The story of Kara and Barry's accidental intoxication. Oops.





	Superfriends Don't Let Superfriends Hero Drunk

**Author's Note:**

> I hadn't planned to write in Ralph Dibny, but I needed an irresponsible adult, and he fit the bill. Enjoy!

Superfriends Don't Let Superfriends Hero Drunk

It was inevitable, she supposed. An errant speedster called Breakneck causing headaches for the DEO on Earth 38. He'd robbed 17 banks so far, probably just for the thrill of it at this point. He couldn't possibly need that much money.

He was taunting her. A green-lightninged speedster on her turf, in her town, right under her nose, making her look stupid. She'd come so close to catching him a couple of times, but try as she might he was always just a little faster. And smart, too. He'd thwarted their meta traps, evaded J'onn's mental control somehow. No weapon or trick it seemed could bring him down. Her heat vision, cold breath, x-ray vision, all useless. He was just too goddamned fast.

After this morning's heist, Kara was just about done. It was time to bring in the big guns.

Barry. He'd taken on a bunch of these guys, right? Surely he'd be able to help them stop this jackass. So she sends him a message via the interdimensional extrapolator. He and Cisco came through the breach into the DEO the next morning, bright and early, matching cups from Jitters in hand.

Which nearly get spilled when Kara speeds to give her superhero BFF a big bear hug.

“Barry! So glad you're here, I've missed you!”

“Missed you too, girl! How are those babies doing?”

“Hardly even babies any more. John is basically speaking in complete sentences now, and he can count to 100!”

“That's…impressive,” Barry says, genuinely. “Not that I'm surprised. All your kids are amazing.”

Kara shrugs smugly, smiling with pride. “And how's your not-so-little one?”

“Ugh, don't ask. Seriously, you think toddlers are a handful? Try parenting a 25-year-old from the future.”

“Yeah, well, hopefully our time traveling days are over and we won't have to deal with anything like that. Yikes.”

“Yikes is right. So tell me about your new speedster nemesis. What's his name again?”

“Breakneck. And he's a serious pain in my ass.”

Kara then launches into an irritated diatribe about the speedy criminal. Barry tries unsuccessfully to refrain from making amused faces at her lengthy complaint. Cisco just stands there watching her go off, one eyebrow raised while he waits for her to finish.

“...And so that leads us to yesterday morning, when he knocked over another National City Bank branch on Willow Street, and took off to God knows where!”

“Okay, Supergirl, let's just breathe for a sec,” Cisco says. “I don't suppose he left anything of his behind at any of the crime scenes, did he?”

“Actually,” Winn pipes in over Kara's shoulder, “he did. He left a can of spray paint behind when he, umm, left a grafitti message of sorts in one of the vaults.”

“What message?” Barry asks as he notices Kara making her cute little angry face. Though he decides to take a step back just in case smoke starts suddenly coming out of her ears. Or, more likely, laser beams from her eyes.

“He flipped me the bird,” Kara replies, icily.

Winn takes a deep breath and hands them photos of the crime scene. “Um, yeah. It was a drawing of a middle finger pointing at...an unflattering caricature of Supergirl.”

Unflattering? It's basically a stick figure with blond hair, a cape, and a cartoonishly large butt.

Barry and Cisco stand there like deer in headlights, desperately trying to quell the bubbles of laughter threatening to spill forth, lest they anger the visibly furious Kryptonian before them. Winn presses his lips together with some force and shakes his head at them almost imperceptibly, warning them not to break. Clearly, Supergirl does NOT have a sense of humor about this.

“Umm, I might be able to vibe the paint can if you have it handy,” Cisco says once he's managed to pull it together. He surreptitiously wipes away a single tear that's managed to work its way out from the corner of his eye, squeezed out by the effort of trying to keep his laughing fit at bay.

“Uh, sure.” Winn retrieves the can from his desk and hands it over.

Cisco puts on his signature glasses and grabs the paint can from Winn. They watch him tune out for a few seconds, and when he returns he's all smiles.

“Got him. Holed up in an abandoned old apartment building at 5th and Carpenter.”

Kara's pissed off face finally cracks and she exhales, relieved.

They craft a plan, which basically consists of Kara flushing him out and Barry catching him. Based on what they've seen they estimate Barry is marginally faster than this guy.

When Kara breaks down the door, though, she's in for a surprise. She enters the apartment just in time to see him disappear into a basement.

“Barry! There's another way out! He's getting away!” she yells, seeing a yellow streak of lightning pass her way. She follows the two speedsters down the stairs and into a long corridor.

It's some sort of utility tunnel, lined with what seems to Kara like miles of pipe. She trails the two streaks of lightning ahead of her, who finally disappear up a ladder. She follows hot on their heels, into what appears to be an old factory. When she pops up she sees them zipping around, blurs of red and green, making the place look like Christmas.

Finally, the green speedster stops dead in a corner of the building that's clearly meant for cold storage.  
Barry and Kara stand at the opposite end of the row of industrial refrigerators, staring down their foe.

“What are you waiting for, Supergirl? An invitation?” Breakneck taunts.

“Hold up, Supergirl, he's trying to bait you,” Barry warns.

Kara likes to think she's grown since her early days as a hero, when she would impulsively run head first into trouble on a semi-regular basis. Now, after nearly a decade and a half of being Supergirl, and a Legionnaire, and a wife and mother, not to mention a successful reporter, Kara has evolved into a much more reasoned, level-headed woman who doesn't fling herself into danger without thinking.

Most days, anyway.

Unfortunately, today is not one of those days. Something about this obnoxious, irritatingly petty villain just sends her over the edge. She snaps.

She flies at him, shooting heat beams from her eyes at the green-clad figure, who of course jumps out of the way just in time for her to miss hitting him. Instead, the beam strikes a large tank of some kind of gas, which begins gushing out, filling the room with a foul, murky cloud.

“Gotcha, Supergirl!” their nemesis crows, from his new perch on top of one of the fridges. “Man, you're dumb! I... that's...you're...sooooo...whoaaaa…wuh, oh...” Breakneck can't quite keep his ridicule going, and he begins to loll back and forth, before seemingly realizing he's in some kind of trouble here. He dashes off at half his normal speed.

Kara and Barry want to follow, but are both struck with a sick, dizzy feeling.

“Barry, let's...get outta...here!” Kara shouts, taking off as best she can in her disoriented state.

“Yyy...up,” Barry replies, right behind her.

********

“Where are they?” Alex demands, watching over Winn's shoulder at the two dots on the screen, one red and one blue.

“Warehouse district. They're not responding to comms, and their vitals are...weird. Elevated heart rate but low blood pressure. And it looks like they've been kind of hovering in one spot for the last few minutes. But they keep moving in circles around each other? I dunno, like I said, weird.”

“Okay, something's up. Strike team, let's move!”

They race to the location indicated by Kara and Barry’s tracking devices. They roll up, locked and loaded, ready for a fight. But instead they see Supergirl and the Flash in the middle of a vacant lot doing... something.

“What the hell?!” Vasquez gasps to Alex. “Are they…?”

“Tap-dancing? It looks that way, doesn't it?” Alex replies.

Sure enough, the two heroes are giddily hoofing around each other, laughing and singing at the top of their lungs.

“Ooookay, one more time from the top!” Kara blares.

“I'M YOUR SUPER FRIEEEEEEND…” they sing in unison.

“Hey! Goofballs! What the hell are you doing? Where's the other speedster?” Alex demands.

“Pshhhhhh…that guy…that guy was like...see ya!” Barry slurs.

“Yeah! He like, let one rip and went vroom! And we hadda go bye bye,” Kara sloppily attempts to explain.

“He what?” Alex asks in confusion.

Kara and Barry don't answer, but simultaneously stick out their tongues and blow raspberries in her direction. They then look at each other in surprise and yell “JINX!!!” as they burst into peals of laughter.

“You owe me a Coke!” Kara says.

“No, you owe ME a Coke!” Barry counters.

They devolve into laughter again, as Alex's frustration ramps up a notch.

“Okay, one of you guys needs to explain what's going on here. Now!” she orders.

“Gas,” Kara blurts, almost sleepily. “Lotsa gas. Whole building full. Very smelly.”

“Are you saying that building is full of some kind of toxic gas cloud?”

Their overzealous twin nods, like two adult-sized toddlers, answer her question.

Alex groans loudly and grabs her radio. “Okay, we have a hazmat situation. I need a decontamination team here ASAP,” she barks into the receiver.

When she looks back over at Kara and Barry, they're circling each other, arms linked, skipping like school children and laughing their asses off.

“Oh, Christ,” Alex sighs. She picks up her phone and dials a certain Martian father figure.

“J'onn? Hey, I need some help. I have Supergirl and the Flash here and apparently they're sort of... intoxicated. You might want to call Superman in on this, too…yeah, thanks. See you soon.”

********

“What the _hell_ happened?!” an agitated Mon-El barges into the DEO, holding John, with Allie, Xander and Zora marching behind like ducklings.

“Daddy! Language!” Allie snaps.

“Sorry, pumpkin. Daddy's just a little upset right now.”

“Mommy will be okay. Right, Uncle Winn?” the child asks, innocently.

“Oh, yeah, honey, of course she will! She's just acting a little funny because of some stuff she and Uncle Barry came into contact with. Not their fault. It's kinda like they got sprayed by a skunk, right? except instead of a skunk it's an anti-alien neurotoxic bioweapon that was stolen by some very bad men…” he sees Mon-El staring daggers at him and misreads the situation entirely. “...Or women! Cause women can be evil, too!” he finishes.

“What's a bioweapon?” Xander asks Zora, who shrugs nonchalantly.

“Winn!” Mon-El yells. “For Rao’s sake, man!” He rubs his temples for a moment, before exhaling. “Look, can you please take the kids to daycare while I check on my wife? And maybe a little less talk about WMDs? If you don't mind, huh?”

“Okay, my bad,” Winn mutters, and shepherds the little flock away.

“Thanks,” Mon-El says gruffly as he stalks down to containment.

There she is. Sitting on the floor in a cell side by side with a rather droopy-looking Barry, who has his arm around her while she sleepily rests her head on his shoulder. J'onn, Alex and Clark are watching them, arms folded, with stern expressions on their faces.

“Are they okay?” he asks as he walks up to join them, crossing his arms to match theirs, since it seems to be the thing to do.

“They're safe, and their condition isn't worsening, at least,” Alex answers.

“Winn said something about a...neurotoxin?” Mon-El inquires with a gulp.

Alex attempts to put her brother-in-law at ease. “It sounds worse than it is. The compound they were excited to is called Therocyine-489. The warehouse Breakneck led them to that he's been using as one of his lairs, or whatever, is evidently frequented by some of his associates as well. Our working theory is one of his compatriots was using the tank to store the toxin, which was stolen from a government research lab in Metropolis last month. Guess they were looking for a buyer. It has to be kept cold, though. Hence the refrigerated tank.”

“Right, but our Mr. Neck seems to have confused it with a regular old coolant tank,” Winn interjects, sneaking up on the group. Reading Mon-El’s glare, he reassures his friend. “Relax, man, the kids are fine. They're playing freeze tag with Dana and Soto. With no actual freeze breath, Allie knows the rules.” Their eldest daughter had started spewing occasional wisps of extremely cold air from her mouth, to the slight alarm of her parents. Clark hadn't exhibited cold breath until nearly high school, similar to Kara, so no one was sure what having that power at age 7 might mean. For the time being she'd been able to control it reasonably well, at least.

“Anyway, coolant would have pooled on the ground first, disabling Barry's powers and making it possible for Jolly Green Jerkoff to escape. That's why the guy climbed up on top of the freezer. However, Therocyine rises, filling the room from the top down, so our perp likely got an even bigger dose than these guys. Which hopefully means he'll turn up in a hospital somewhere.”

“Winn, I don't really care about catching the bad guy right now. What about Kara and Barry?” Mon-El pleads.

“They're going to be okay, Mon,” Clark intercedes. “Lex Luthor used this stuff on me once. It doesn't do any permanent damage. At least, not to people who have invulnerability or speed healing. To other types of aliens, it can be lethal. But to people like us it just makes you sort of...uh…”

“Drunk. They're drunk, Mon-El. And they're going to be okay once the effects wear off.” Alex does her best to calm the Daxamite down, as J'onn pats him reassuringly on the shoulder.

Mon-El heaves a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank Rao. When will they be back to normal?”

“Well, that's a little less clear. We're not exactly sure how much of the gas they inhaled. But most likely? A few hours. Maybe a day.”

“I got a pretty hefty dose and it took me about a day and a half. Unfortunately, I sort of crashed into a few buildings before I realized what had happened. And I'm sorry to say I got a little, um, unruly.”

“I saw that news footage, Clark. You're a pretty sloppy drunk,” Alex teases.

“Hey! I'm not sloppy. Okay, maybe singing the Metropolis Meteors fight song over and over while trying to shoot passing clouds with my heat vision was a bit much. But that's as bad as it got. I didn't hurt anyone, thank God.”

“Well, we're not taking that chance today. They've already been a bit of a handful,” J'onn says. “I'm glad I called Superman here, it took both of us to wrangle them into containment. Normally I'd prefer they be monitored in the med bay, but I can't risk them escaping.”

“Good plan,” Mon-El sighs with relief. _She'll be okay tomorrow, and she's safe here. Thank Rao._

Sleepily, Barry hums a few bars of the Superfriends song out loud, and then groggily (and unfortunately) sings, “ _For instance, I have to say I'm not impressed...by your more famous cousin_ …”

Mon-El refrains from looking directly at Clark, but judging by the reflection he sees in the glass, that famous cousin is himself feeling pretty unimpressed at the moment.

Roused by the song, Kara opens her sleepy eyes then to see her mate standing in the other side of the glass with his arms folded. She blinks a few times before her face erupts in a massive, sunshiny smile.

“BABY! My love! Barry, look, my sexy husband is here. Hi sweetie pie!” she coos.

“Hi, Babe. Are you feeling okay?” Mon-El asks worriedly.

“I feel awesome, you gorgeous man. In fact, why don't you open that door and let's go get naked somewhere. Hmm?” She sits up and shimmies a little, biting her lip at him, then makes a little tiger growl sound and flexes her hand at him like a cat scratching a post.

 _Apparently the toxin makes you horny, too,_ he thinks. _Or maybe Kara is just a frisky drunk_. He isn't really sure, since regular alcohol doesn't affect her and he's only managed to get her sloshed once, years ago, on Alderberan rum. A small corner of his brain he's not particularly proud of regrets they weren't yet a couple that night. _Tipsy Kara might have been kinda fun in the sack,_ he thinks.

“Kara, honey, you're not in any state for that right now, okay?” he replies. “But, uh, raincheck, I promise,” he finishes, under his breath, as Kara winks amorously.

“I heard that,” Clark grumps. _Oops. Forgot we're not the only people with super hearing._ Mon-el cringes at his cousin-in-law’s annoyed side-eye.

“Heeeeeeyyyy Mon-El! You guys are the cutest, you know that? I, like, I ship it, you know?” Barry drawls, rousing from sleep.

“Dude, Barry, isn't speed-sex the best?” Kara remarks dreamily, looking up towards the ceiling.

Barry lights up at this. “DUDE. It's the BEST! But I bet it's even better when you're super strong. You guys are luuuuucky. But..yy…ya know what, I really…really... REALLY like schtupping my wife. She's preeeeeetty.”

“Y’know what, Bar, she is. She reeeeeeally is. I'm not all into girlses, but, like, I get it. Like, if I were a dude...or on Alex's team…I'd prolly wanna hit that. But check it out…how bangable is my husband, huh? You should see him naked, he's like...art. With his muscle-y muscles and his cute butt. He's like…what do the kids say these days? He's a SNACK, amirite?”

“I'll drink to that…wait…we don't have any drinks. Drinks please!”

Kara and Barry break down laughing at this, and then high five each other.

The Kryptonian isn't done. “Clark! Don't feel left out, though, cous! Ms. Grant told me she likes your butt…she stares at it whenever you're around so I guess she thinks you're super hot...I wouldn't know, cause psh…related!”

By this point, everyone in the room except Mon-El has buried their face in their hands with mortification. Mon-El, still mostly relieved that she's okay (and given his Daxamite upbringing not one to flinch at the mere mention of sex, or even his cousin-in-law's posterior) finds this whole thing kind of amusing. Plus Kara is beyond adorable, with her silly laughter and rosy cheeks.

The Daxamite simply chuckles at their antics. “I'm really glad you guys are okay.”

Kara wrinkles her brow and looks around the room. “Where's the babies?”

“The kids you mean? At day care. They're fine.”

“Bring em here! I wanna show off my sweeties to Uncle Bar-Bar!”

“Maybe later, honey, when you sober up.”

“Psh, I'm fiiiiiiiine.”

“Tomorrow.”

“BOOOOOOO!”

A loud sniffle emanates from her cell mate and Kara looks over at her red-clad superhero BFF with concern.

“You okay, Bar?”

“Do you think Elliot and E.T. ever think about each other?”

Kara instantly flips from giddy to maudlin as she contemplatives his question. “I...I dunno, Barry. I bet they do…right?”

Barry is full-on crying now, and Kara quickly joins the sob-fest. “I bet E.T. visits sometimes…” he says. “You know, you're basically my E.T. except when we met, _you_ helped _me_ get home. Which, wait, maybe _I'm_ E.T. then…” he squints at the ceiling, deep in thought.

“You listen to me, Flash. I would _never_ not visit you. I love you, Barry Allen! Super best friends for life!”

“Totally! Come here, girl!” they wrap their arms around each other, hugging and mumbling at each other weepily.

“Well, since they're apparently okay, we should get back upstairs and see if we can track down Breakneck,” Alex says, shaking her head at the whole scene. The assembled party turns to leave, except Mon-El, who glances back at the containment cell for a moment, only to hear snoring emanating from one Kryptonian and one meta speedster, still cuddled up on each other's shoulders like children. _That's good, they should sleep it off,_ he thinks, reluctantly turning away and following the others.

********

“So we're really on another Earth right now?” Ralph Dibny, aka the Elongated Man, exclaims just moments after coming through the breach to Earth-38, directly into the main floor in the DEO.

“Yes, Ralph. We're just checking on Barry. And you really didn't need to come, you know. If Barry is incapacitated for a while, Earth prime might need you.”

“What? Wally's there. Cisco and Caitlin are there. They can call in the Legends if anything big happens. And I didn't think you should come by yourself.”

“Ralph, I told you, it's fine, I already have friends here. Such as...Hi, Alex!” Iris West-Allen turns to the Director of the DEO, who approaches from the CIC.

“Hi, Iris. Are you okay? Also, um, who's this?”

“Yeah, sorry to barge in, I know your message said Barry and Kara were okay, but I really wanted to see for myself. This is Ralph, he's new to our team.”

Ralph looks at her expectantly, as if anticipating a more elaborate introduction.

Iris sighs. “He’s a meta. He's sort of...stretchy.” apparently satisfied by this explanation, Ralph emphatically shakes Alex and Winn’s hands.

“Barry is fine, Iris. I can take you down to containment to see him if you like.”

“Please. Thank you, Alex.”

“So, wait, you guys are all part of team Supergirl then?” the elastic meta inquires.

“We are, uh, Ralph, was it?” Winn replies. The meta nods in response.

“So is she, like, in containment as well?” he asks sheepishly, looking down at his feet.

“Oh, God, Ralph, is _that_ why you wanted to come?” Iris groans. “You just wanted to meet Supergirl?”

“What? She's helped save our Earth like half a dozen times, and I haven't gotten to so much as be in the same room with her. I've only seen videos. But, man, she seems...amazing.” He smiles dreamily.

Iris turns to Alex and Winn. “Sorry, he's a bit of a fanboy, and I think he's got a little crush on Kara.”

“It's okay, crushing on Supergirl it's pretty much par for the course on Earth-38. For the record, I had a thing for her _before_ it was cool. When she was just regular ol’ Kara Danvers.” Alex gives him a pointed look at this. “What? Am I giving away state secrets here?”

Ralph nods along. “See? It's not my fault she looks like a freaking Botticelli painting! And I don't have a crush, I just think she's really really pretty and strong and kind and I bet she smells like flowers...” he trails off with a wistful smile.

Iris facepalms. “And as I keep telling you she's also _very_ married. With kids. Can you just be cool? Please?”

Ralph puts his hands in his pockets and looks down at his shoes. “Like…happily married?”

“YES.” Iris, now fed up with her friend, starts marching away.

“Umm, actually, Iris, their cell is this way,” Alex yells after her, as she stops, exhales, and turns on her heel to follow the redhead downstairs. But just as they pass the CIC toward the stairs, an alarm begins blaring, lights flashing all around them.

“What is it?” Alex yells at Vasquez as she approaches at a run, stun gun in hand.

“Supergirl and the Flash have escaped, ma'am!” the Lieutenant replies.

Winn’s eyes go wide and he turns to Iris. “He can phase through solid objects, can't he…” he deadpans.

Iris nods. “Yeah, he can. And he can bring other people with him.”

“I…maybe kinda forgot about that.”

He looks at Alex.

“Oh, crap,” they say in unison.

********

Kara awakens with a groan, on her stomach, cool concrete floor against her cheek. Still loopy, she feels something on the small of her back, and turns to look behind her where Barry, still in his flash uniform, is resting against her like she's a large sentient pillow.

Confused, she rolls onto her side, hearing Barry's cranium to crash onto the floor

“Owwwwwwiiiiieeeee…” emanates from the speedster.

“Bar...Barry! Wake up!”

“What? What is it?”

“I think...we forgot to do something…something important!”

“What?”

“The bad guy! That stupid green... _asshole_! We didn't catch him!”

“Crap, you're right! We should...like...go. Or something.”

“How do we get out of here? The glass is tempered with Nth metal, I can't break it.”

“S’cool, I got it. Stand up and hold on to me.”

Kara staggers to her feet, head still spinning, and hugs her friend.

“All right, check this out.” Barry wobbily puts out one hand, the other still around her waist, and she sees it vibrate until it appears translucent, even to a woman who's a master of speed herself. He pushes his hand through the glass, then moves forward until the two of them are able to phase directly through the pane.

“Sweeeeet! That is a rrreeeeallly cool power, dude!” she gushes.

“I know, right? Now let's go get that big green...pain in the dick!”

“Woohoo!” she screams as they take off, breaking the sound barrier as they instantaneously exit down the hall and out of the building, into the night.

********

“Allie? Allie, get up. I think your mom is in trouble.” Conner pokes his cousin, who's asleep on a cot next to his at DEO day care. Kara's incapacitation has required Alex to pull an all-nighter, making her unable to take her son home as usual. Mon-El kindly offered to bring the child home to their house in Midvale for the night, but Alex worried five kids might be a bit much for a single stressed-out dad, even one with superpowers. After some back-and-forth, Allie suggested she and Conner have a sleepover at the DEO, while her Daxamite father takes the younger children home. Conner happily accepted, finding Allie's presence calming. In fact, the two have become more or less best friends since the boy's arrival, much to the delight of their parents. Kara in particular was thrilled to see a closeness grow between the cousins, mirroring her own bond with Clark.

Allie rubs her eyes, trying to shake off her sleepiness. “What? My mom? What is it?”

“I'm not sure, I just had a dream about your mom and I woke up with a really bad feeling.”

Allie considers this. It might just have been a bad dream, she knows. But since her cousin has already demonstrated telekinetic powers in his sleep, the idea of him developing other abilities while dreaming is not that far-fetched.

“What did you see?”

“She was floating underwater. And there was someone with her.”

“Someone in a red suit?”

“Yeah! It had a lightning bolt on the front.”

“We need to talk to your mom. Right now.”

The children scramble out of bed, not even bothering to put on shoes, and run down the stairs to the CIC.

What they find there is near-chaos. Agents are running about, some yelling on comms and frantically clacking away on their computers. Winn, Alex, Auntie Iris and a strange man Allie has never seen before are all standing in a group near the command terminals.

“Where the hell are they NOW?!” Alex barks at Winn, who's glancing back and forth from his tablet to the wall of screens before them. Iris and new guy are standing around as well, nervously looking on.

“Where AREN'T they is a better question. They're zig-zagging all over town. Look…financial district, Chinatown, now they're running past LCorp. I think maybe they're generally headed more or less…south? But who knows, the direction keeps changing.”

“Sir, we're getting reports of some kind of weapon being detonated all over the city,” Vasquez cuts in. “Witnesses describe red, blue and green streaks followed by a massive concussive blast. They've already blown out windows at several office buildings downtown and sent civilians flying. No major injuries so far but I think it's only a matter of time.”

“What kind of weapon can do that? Alex asks Winn.

“Off the top of my head, a Directed Energy Weapon, maybe? Could create a gravitational shock wave big enough to inflict some serious damage. I think we've established Breakneck has some very shady connections, which judging by this whole neurotoxin incident almost certainly includes some arms dealers,” Winn explains.

“Great. So, fast guy, with a big gun. And he's drunk. With two supers on his tail, also drunk. Fantastic.”

“Should we call Mon-El?” Iris asks.

“No, he's home with the kids. And we've got J'onn and Superman out there trying to pin them down. Where are they anyway?” Alex inquires, peering at the myriad glowing screens before her.

“Trying to deal with the trail of destruction. Including numerous fires, some collapsed structures, and a disabled crane which is now swinging aimlessly,” Vasquez reports.

“Uuuggghh. Okay, guys, I'm open to ideas here. Anyone?” Alex addresses the assembled agents, techs, and off-world guests. She's met with silence. Until…

“Mommy!” Conner cries as he and Allie come running up in their pajamas, frantic. “I dreamed about Aunt Kara! I know what's happening! You have to help her!”

“Conner! You can't be here! Back to bed, now!” Alex snaps.

“But Mom! I dreamed that she…”

“Honey, I know you want to help but you have to leave this to adults! We're going to help her, okay? Don't worry. Now, I don't have time for this.”

“Mom, please! You have to listen!”

“NOW!” she screams. “Look, somebody...uh, new guy. You're not doing anything. Can you please take these two back to bed? Down the hall, room 1407. Thank you.” She turns back around to the screens, continuing to yell things at Winn and other agents, as they scramble to keep any kind of hold on the situation.

Ralph Dibny, not particularly accustomed to being relegated to babysitting duty, grumpily approaches the children and attempts to shepherd them down the hall. Which he finds somewhat difficult due to the fact that both these children have super strength. He walks about twenty feet in the direction Alex indicated before realizing the kids have not moved, but rather have planted themselves to the floor like two small trees. His arms now tautly stretch the distance behind him like a slingshot ready to let loose. The children gape at him, dumbfounded.

“Mister, your arms!” Conner gasps. “Do you have powers, too?”

“Uh…maybe. What's it to you?” He releases said arms, retracts them and crosses them over his chest.

Allie shakes her head incredulously, like the tiny little grown-up she basically is, and walks up to him. “Okay, we really need an adult to actually listen to us. Can you do that?”

Ralph, realizing this might actually be serious, cocks his head and looks intently at the children. “Uh…okay. What is it?”

“Look, my cousin here dreamed about Supergirl and the Flash...drowning.” Allie says.

“Who's the Flash?” Connor asks.

“Uncle Barry. In the red suit.”

“Right, With the lightning. Got it.”

“Wait, wait, wait, what do you mean drowning?” Ralph queries, brow furrowed.

“I think…that bad guy they're chasing is luring them towards the waterfront to try and kill them!” Conner cries.

“Did you see anything else in your dream?” Allie asks.

“Yeah, a guy in a green suit at the top of the Bay Bridge. With a BIG gun. I think...maybe he needs to hit them at close range to knock them out? I dunno, all I know is they fall, then they're in the water.”

“Okay, let's go talk to...uh…” Ralph starts walking them back to the CIC before he realizes everyone is gone. Alex, Iris, Winn, and the entire cadre of agents. There's just a few techs typing on computers.

“Um, where did everyone go?” Ralph asks, to no one in particular. The nearest typist looks up from his keyboard briefly and says “Communication towers got knocked out by that big gun. No radios, no trackers, nothing. So everyone's gone out trying to pin them down based on their likely trajectory. It's all hands on deck.”

“Shit.” Ralph curses.

The children just look at him, exasperated.

“Look, Mister, I can stop the Green Speedster. And save my mom and the Flash.”

“Wait, isn't that...Alex person your Mom?” Ralph asks, confused.

“No, she's _my_ mom. Allie's mom is Supergirl.” Conner intercedes.

“Wait, really? You're Supergirl's daughter? Cool! So…you have powers, then? Also, um, does she smell like flowers? I bet she does, right?”

Allie rubs her temples in frustration, a habit picked up from her father.

“Uh, okay, Ralph, is it? Listen, I'm strong, and fast, and indestructible, and I have cold breath. We know where they're going to be soon. And the last thing this guy will be expecting is a little girl in pink Supergirl pajamas freezing away his powers. All I need is someone to get me to the top of that bridge, since I can't fly yet. Now, can you please help?”

Ralph looks at the two of them for a moment, and exhales. “I dunno, kid, if something happened to you, that would be...like…really bad.”

Allie side-eyes him, raises one eyebrow, then says “You know, if you save my mom I bet she'll be _really_ impressed. She might even give you a kiss on the cheek.”

“Wh…you think?” He pauses a moment, chewing his lip and looking down at the floor. “Okay, well, since you're indestructible, and this plan seems better than their whole 'Roam around the city and cross your fingers you run into them’ plan, and there's no one else here…”

“Mister! Clock's ticking!” Conner yells.

“Okay! Okay. How do we get down there, though?”

“Leave that to me. Conner, you need to stay here in case your mom or someone comes back, okay?”

Conner nods, then waves gleefully as his seven-year-old cousin picks up a very startled grown man like he's an oversized rag doll and speeds off into the night.

********

“Whatsammatta, ya gettin’ tired, Greenie?” Kara yells as she hovers at the top of the bridge, just above the spot where she once tilted an entire plane to keep it from crashing, and where the emerald speedster is now squatting, fiddling with his weapon.

“Nah, he's out of ammo! Look at his gun! He can't get it up!” Barry says. He and Kara roll with laughter at this, with Kara doing a backflip in midair and flapping her cape around.

“Come on, man. Give it up! Let us take you in. No one gets hurt,” Kara offers, sauntering toward her foe.

Breakneck staggers to his feet. “Here's the thing, Supergirl, unfortunately, someone’s gonna get hurt. Cause I ain't going to jail, and this thing? Yeah, it has a back-up battery.” He flips a switch on the barrel and the gun makes a whooshing power-up sound.

He dizzily whips it in their direction, ready to fire, when he hears a tiny voice behind him.

“Hey, jerk! How about you pick on someone NOT your own size!”

He turns, ready to shoot, but is startled to see a small girl in pink being held aloft by what appears to be a pair of extendable arms. In his shock, he lowers the weapon slightly, only to feel a blast of cold air from the tiny person, joined by an additional blast from the rear as Kara finally catches on. Breakneck slumps over, nearly falling, before Kara whooshes over to catch him. Unfortunately, the gun drops from the speedy villain’s hand, firing off a single shot in Barry's direction as it hits the steel platform. The Scarlet Speedster is immediately knocked unconscious, keeling over the edge of the bridge apex and hurtling toward the water.

“Barry!” Kara screams, nearly dropping Breakneck.  
“We’ve got him!” she hears her daughter yell in reply. Before she realizes what's happened, an impossibly long appendage is hoisting Barry back up, dropping him next to her. As she looks up, she realizes, finally, that the other arm is snaked around her daughter's waist.

“What the hell…Allie? Honey, what are you doing here?”

“I'll explain tomorrow, Mom. Can we go back to the DEO now? I'm tired.”

Kara looks around, suddenly stricken with her own exhaustion, and sleepily says, “Okay, baby.”

She picks up the two speedsters, and drifts gently down to the asphalt surface of the bridge as the long arms retract, lowering Allie as well, and Supergirl sets eyes on the person responsible for involving her child in all this.

“I don't know who you are,” she droopily shakes a finger in Ralph's direction. “But you and me are gonna have a talk later…after...sleep…”

Ralph's eyes go wide, before he sees a yawning Supergirl lay down right then and there on the road surface, wrap her cape around herself, and zonk out.

Alex and the DEO, finally pulling up in armored vehicles, find three passed out supers with Ralph and Allie standing over them.

She turns to the two of them, stone-faced, and points at the nearest vehicle.

“Van. Now.”

“Aunt Alex, I can expl…”

“NOW, ALLIE!”

Chastened, Allie grabs Ralph's hand and hurriedly ushers him into the car.

********

Kara wakes again, sunlight just breaking through the skylight outside their glass-walled room in the med bay. Suddenly realizing there's nothing below her, she falls with an OOF…right on top of Barry.

“Uuhhhhhh….dang, you're heavy, woman! I mean, like, not HEAVY heavy…you know what I mean…”

“Sorry, Bar, I was sleep-flying again.”

“Clearly. God, I feel horrible. How do you feel?”

“Like I'm gonna be…oh, god…” she pushes away from her spot atop Barry, bolting to the trash can and proceeding to barf up very possibly everything she's eaten for the past two weeks.

“Is this what a hangover feels like? It's worse that pregnancy…”

“I wouldn't know about that, but my hangovers only last a few minutes usually.”

“Ugh, here's hoping,” she says as she gets back into her bed and curls up.

Alex marches in then, Allie and Ralph on her heels.  
“Oh, good, you're up,” she says. “I can fill you in on everything, including this morning’s first-ever DEO debrief with a first-grader.”

“Alex, what happened? I only remember bits and pieces.”

“Yeah, I remember dancing…and a lot of running…and Allie, were you, like floating... somewhere?” Barry muses.

“Sort of. Uncle Ralph helped.” Allie says.

“Who's Uncle Ralph?” Kara wonders aloud.

The Elongated Man lights up and steps forward, putting on his charming face. “That's me, hello…I'm Ralph Dibny, big fan, friend of Barry here. Great to meet you. I have a lot of questions. First of all…”

“OKAY, WHERE IS HE?” Mon-El strides into the med bay, seething with rage. He looks around the room and his gaze alights first on Allie, who he rushes towards and bundles into his arms.

“Oh, sweetheart, you're all right. Thank Rao.” He picks his daughter up and sits down with her on Kara's bed, wrapping his arms around both of them. “You're all right. You're both all right.” Tears well in his eyes as he squeezes them tight and kisses them lovingly.

“Guess that's Mr. Supergirl, then?” Ralph, deflated, shrugs at Barry.

“Okay, someone tell me what happened and who THIS person is,” Kara groans, exasperated, gesturing in Ralph's direction, as she retreats from her husband's embrace.

“He helped me save you, Mommy! That green guy was gonna kill you both, Conner saw it in his dream, and Uncle Ralph was the only one who would listen to us!”

“It's true, guys.” Alex says. “They explained the whole thing. If it wasn't for Ralph and Allie, I don't really know what would have happened. Allie, I'm very sorry I didn't listen.”

Mon-El grits his teeth. “He brought…my daughter…to a freaking...gunfight! With a military grade weapon!"

“WHAT?!” Kara and Barry say in unison, hangovers thankfully ebbing away.

“To save Supergirl! It was the only way! Back me up, here, kid!” Ralph counters.

Allie nods vehemently.

“Okay, whoever you are, I'm about halfway between shaking your hand and punching your lights out. Should I flip a coin?” Mon-El barks.

Recognizing his cue to leave, Ralph shuffles toward the door. “I'm gonna…yeah…though, one thing…before I go, Supergirl…”

“What is it?” Kara sighs.

“Umm, can I just…smell you real quick?”

“What?!” Kara replies, with equal parts bewilderment and horror. Mon-El simply stares at him, speechless, shaking his head in disbelief.

“No? Okay, another time maybe. Bye!”

They look over at Barry, who has his face buried in his hands, cringing with embarrassment.

“I am so...soooooo sorry about him,” he offers.

“You know what?” Mon-El sighs. “I don't even care. Everyone is safe, the bad guy's in custody, and we're all going to agree to try and be better listeners in the future, okay?”

“And Bar? Let's never ever get drunk again,” Kara proposes..

“Absolutely…unless, it's like, a special occasion. Cause you're actually a pretty fun drunk...I think.”

“Well, obviously…”

Mon-El and Allie give Kara simultaneous side-eye as she realizes her young daughter is still present.

“...Not! Because abusing substances is...bad. Bad stuff.”

“Nice save, babe.” Mon-El chides. He puts his arm around Allie. “I think maybe Mommy is still a little loopy. Let's let her get some rest and you can tell me and Auntie Iris all about your adventure. Okay?”

“Okay, Daddy. Let's go get them some food, too.”

“Ooh! Pancakes please!” Kara lights up, as Barry nods agreeably.

Mon-El chuckles and Allie waves as they walk away, hand in hand.

Kara nestles into her pillow before a wayward snippet of memory from the previous evening suddenly hits her.

“Oh, God… Barry, please tell me I didn't say what I think I said about my cousin's butt…”

“I don't remember you saying anything about your cousin's butt…though I may have sang something about him being unimpressive…”

“Yeah, okay, if he comes in here? Let's just both pretend we're asleep, agreed?”

“Agreed.”


End file.
